her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
