It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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