Screwed.edu
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
