it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
