i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
