nut hugger
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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