'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
