after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
