I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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