idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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