I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize