she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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