I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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