this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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