the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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