That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I could fuck to npr.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
