why didn't you poke me back
I just made out with a guy for $7.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
