Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
