Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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