I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
