It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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