At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize