The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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