What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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