My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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