hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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