totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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