So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize