We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
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I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
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I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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