i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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