This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
There's even glitter on my cock...
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