so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
