While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize