Kiss
Puke
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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