if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
