somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
