sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Randomize