I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
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Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
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It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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