I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize