My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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