It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
