none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
