so explain again why im purple
no
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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