He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
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He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
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Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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