you would pick up someone in the library
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
