I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
3 2 1 whiskey
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
