talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
