exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Randomize
