ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize