Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
