You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
