OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
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and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
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We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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