Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
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