You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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