i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
she peed on how many people?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
