i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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