do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
