R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
