My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
