You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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