sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
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