There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.