i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
