He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He shit in the fireplace
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
