Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
