I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I deserve this hangover.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
