he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
